If you met me not long ago at a pagan gathering and asked me what part of paganism I practiced, I would tell you that I was a ceremonial magician, Golden Dawn style. I F ING OWNED that little corner of Pagandom. Over the last year or so, I may have added that I do some "Greek work" but I'd leave that vague.
Now, I'm Robert.
Yes, some people know me as Robert the Tarot Guy. Others know me as the magician. Others that knew me or of me a bit longer may see me as the pompous ass.
Now, I'm Robert.
I am not a magician. I am not a meditator. I am not a seeker. I am not a pagan.
I am Robert that practices magic, meditates, seeks stronger and stronger connections to the divine and generally holds to some sort of pagan tenants. I am not these things. I do these things.
Obviously, I had been toying with identity for a while, when someone linked, Christians Openly Advocate Killing Athiests on Fox News to Facebook, it jelled my thoughts together. I have no idea if this is true but for the sake of argument, let us pretend it is and check this out:
If you can't read the text it says, "these people are f'ing scum of the earth. can we start killing them now? few groups are filled with more hatred than athiests [sic]."
Can you just feel the irony? I'm not speaking of Christianity. I'm speaking of this fellow that is going to kill people because "THEY" are full of hatred. Where does this come from? The article states there is some controversy over putting up a cross at the WTC as a memorial. The reason this so infuriates this guy isn't because he believes in Christ but because in his head, "he IS a Christian". It is his self-identity and the folks on the other side, "are challenging him as a person". They don't feel they are doing that. He likely doesn't know this is why he reacts this way. Yet that is the way these insane things take place. If he thought of himself, "I am Michael Perri and I love Christ," this crap wouldn't fall from his keyboard. The sad part is that he has nothing of himself to define. So, he borrows something external.
Christians do not have a corner on this. There are quite a few examples of people in Pagandom seeing a question or challenge to their tradition, lineage or lack ther as a personal attack upon themselves. Again, this is identifying ourselves with what we do or believe. This is false.
In the Bible "G-d" uses the word Ehieh meaning, "I am that which I am." Ehieh is the the "god name" associated with the first sphere of the Tree of Life, Keter, in the Qabala. That tree is macrocosmic. It is the divine fractal of how "G-d" created the Universe. Microcosmically, it is you, your soul and its divine fractal. You start out as that which you are. Adding these labels of self-identity clouds the picture. They cause us to identify our little personality with an idea instead of with our souls.
I am that which I am. I am Robert. Robert blogs, does magick, meditates, writes his book, goes to work, loves, hates, thinks and sleeps. Robert does these things but he is not these things. I am Robert and that is ALL there is to that.
This is the Manifestation Meditation. The point of it is to connect with our own soul in an entirely new way. It is knowing, "I am that which I am," on this level of reality.