Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You Rams understand that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. That's why anything that slows you down can make your fiery temper rise.
What to avoid: Waiting in line at the post office or DMV; mediation counseling with your ex; art museums; lazy roommates; traffic jams; people who stand in your way; pointless discussions; boring movies; too much foreplay.
Your survival pack: A well-loaded iPod; online shopping; Aries friends; a lifetime gym membership; hot-box yoga; someone to vent with; a dart board; a good tennis partner.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You might have a hard time getting up in the morning or making a quick decision, Taurus, but once you get going, nobody can stop your forward motion. You love what you love, and there's no arguing with you about it.
What to avoid: Ugly objects; fake environments; quick showers; scratchy clothing; flirty partners; forced change; windowless offices; fast-food jobs; nagging mothers.
Your survival pack: A flush wallet; a chia pet; a chamois scarf; well-fluffed pillows; a faithful lover; a drive in the country; aromatherapy bubble bath; your favorite collection.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You Geminis are way social. You love hanging out with friends and can't stand being bored for a minute. Multi-tasking was created by the Twins.
What to avoid: Too much routine; long lectures; just one choice; a jealous date; an empty calendar; a long drive with no rest stops.
Your survival pack: A full address book; two TVs; text-messaging; TiVo; a 60 gigabyte video iPod; faithful friends, and lots of them; People magazine.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Your crab shell comes in handy, Cancer, because without it you are all mush. When your security is threatened, you go into protection mode.
What to avoid: Bungee jumping; risky investments; an empty cupboard; long business trips; unemotional partners; fast food; snow camping; biker bars.
Your survival pack: Home-cooked meals; a down comforter; old friends; photo albums; family keepsakes; good chocolate.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You were born for great things, Leo, so resist the urge to fit in. Don't be too quick to share the spotlight -- you're happiest when all eyes are on you.
What to avoid: Sitting in the back row; required uniforms; being ignored; too much time alone; a dead-end job; a date who is self-absorbed; mediocrity; coloring inside the lines.
Your survival pack: Admiring friends; karaoke in a crowded bar; a full-length mirror; dinner at a five-star restaurant; a flashy car; great sunglasses.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You've been blessed with a fine eye for detail, Virgo, but that means you have high standards for everyone, including yourself. Reduce your stress by cutting everyone some slack once in a while. The rest of the time, sidestep situations that push your "need-for-order" buttons.
What to avoid: Sloppy roommates; apartments with no closets; tiny kitchens; a disheveled date; an itinerary-less vacation; a hotel room with no iron; overpriced stores.
Your survival pack: Paper for making lists; other Virgos; a job with deadlines; great deals on quality stuff; good books; closet organizers; a leather-bound day-planner.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Ruled by the planet Venus, you're especially sensitive to your environment, Libra... the people around you as well as your space. Take pains to keep your world beautiful and harmonious.
What to avoid: People who pick arguments for fun; a dark office; violent films; dull clothes; a partner who criticizes you; anonymity; too much routine; noisy apartments.
Your survival pack: Fresh flowers; lavender bath oil; gentle, caring friends; meditation music; shopping; a trip to the spa; a surprise date at a romantic restaurant.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You're one of the deeper -- and darker -- signs of the zodiac, Scorpio, and that's just the way you like it. More than others, you understand there is no happiness without pain. Nothing makes you crazier than someone telling you "smile!" or "cheer up!"
What to avoid: Game shows; cheerleading competitions; boy band concerts; half-full glasses; mysteries that have already been solved; direct sunlight; people who ask too many personal questions; dating someone with bad credit.
Your survival pack: Melancholy Britpop; black eyeliner; true crime novels; thunderstorms; "Six Feet Under' on DVD; a private savings account.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You're a wanderer, Sagittarius -- you roam around and around and around. To you, a life without adventure is a life without purpose. Timid friends won't be your buds for long.
What to avoid: Familiar faces and places; boundaries and limitations; homebodies; routines; know-it-alls; half-empty glasses; someone who tells you "you can't."
Your survival pack: A road map; a full tank of gas; trusty companions; a new destination; newspapers and philosophy books; causes to fight for; a parachute.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
You'll climb the ladder of success, dear Goat, but your insecurities may plague you on the way to the top. Don't underestimate your talents.
What to Avoid: A smothering mother; beating yourself up; rebels and outlaws; undefined goals; anything less than an A+; a high maintenance lover.
Your Survival Pack: Your security badge; daily affirmations; a five-year plan; precise measuring tools; good hiking boots; a to-do list; ambitious friends.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Not everybody shares your ability to make brilliant deductions, Aquarius. While others are trying to figure out how to program TiVo, you've hit upon an idea that blows quantum physics out of the water.
What to Avoid: The limelight; celebrity gossip; straight and narrow friends; linear thinking; a partner who needs you to be emotionally available.
Your Survival Pack: A telescope; your PDA; an astrology calendar; a community of friends; eccentric outfits; a skylight.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You desire transcendence, but take care how you escape reality, Pisces. The Fish may get his or her highs from dance and meditation... or from booze and too much daydreaming.
What to Avoid: Jobs that require "attention to detail"; housecleaning; a nit-picky roommate; shoes that don't fit; hard science; too much to drink; a lover who hates to cuddle.
Your Survival Pack: A large DVD collection; dance shoes; an aquarium; a meditation cushion; group therapy; visits to the ocean; romantic poetry.